Painters, Plumbers, Schmucks and Sorrow

Where the Wild Mold Grows

Mold - when the water source comes from inside the wall

Ran across a beauty today. It used to be a castle - not any longer.

As is often the case during my inspections, I struck up a conversation during the inspection. He said his former realtor had told him "you don't need a professional inspection on this home -  I have a brother in law who is a painter - we should have him do it". 

Now, there are no words for such a - well - genius. At best, he should have his licensed burned in front of him. Perhaps dousing him in lighter fluid and playing with matches might be useful. Perhaps the "enhanced interrogation" techniques used at Guantanamo may change is ways. Thank goodness my client recognized him for the true pillar that he is, and found another realtor. The new guy recommended me.

Mold - when the water source comes through the wall on the floor

A Gold Star for a Good Realtor

So as we went around this home, I wondered what Mister painter might have found. Turns out that the home was a great candidate for meth. We took a sample, but I don't want to go there in this blog - there are other blogs to read that outline what I look for. 

Mold - notice the water line goes higher than the mold line

We got in the basement and noticed that the carpet had been pulled up. Was there water entry from somewhere? I put on my mold sleuth hat, and we went looking. 

Is there a Schmuck's Anonymous? 

After some searching and a little use of gravity, we found that a recently installed tub had some problems. The first? It didn't drain. The second? It did drain, but from a leaking sewer line. The entire contents of the tub had repeatedly ended up in the family room, as evidenced by the mold history.

Conserve Water?

The carpet was so wet it shows the soggy carpet footprints

Now I've heard someone say "Conserve water; shower with a friend". It's an interesting thought, but has some drawbacks. Same with donating your bath tub water to the people in the family room. This carpet was wet enough to show the footprints we had just made! It was swamp time, and there were millions of creatures in that swamp - and growing. 

We've Only Just Begun

Then we find that the water heater was leaking and had caused its own mold problems. It was hidden because the owner had hooked up a hose to the drain - of course he could have fixed the leak, but no. He ran the leak to a drain. Maybe the dude was a painter. I don't know.

Don't use electrical tape to fix plumbing leaks

 Electrician? 

Or maybe he was an electrician, as evidenced by the electrician's tape he used to attempt a leak seal on another ceiling. 

The Good Ol Moral

I guess the moral of this one ain't hard. Get a pro. Whether it's a plumber you need, or an inspector. Otherwise, guys like me will call you a schmuck on the internet - and you'll deserve it. 

Drainage Nazi: Good Gutters Going Ghoul

So where's that water gonna drain to? 

So I actually had a little bit of time today - what a refreshment that was! I got looking through my files and did some organization. Now, I've written about drainage before, but It's always new and refreshing to me! And how could I truly earn the "Drainage Nazi" title if I didn't obsess over it?

The Drainage Nazi: He's Baaaack!

Despite my many rantings, the volume of water that finds its way near America's homes is somewhere between monstrous 

The mother of Utah Lake. Standing water at left center

and humongomucho. As evidence, I give you the mini-lake Utah, found on the side of a home (pic below). Clay soil here - it doesn't drain, except into the basement. And the 1-inch depth of standing water was right there, waiting to make me look like a genius by finding its way right into basement land. 

Drainage into the Window Well: dtw


Let's just say it's common for me to find a condition where water drains toward the foundation or window well. My sweet little macro for one is dtw. The other? Yep. dtf. 
Saves me the pain of having to type out all the letters as I'm doing the inspection.

Is it common? Severely so.


Then there's dsh

Um, weeds growing in the window frame?

How much water are they getting?

Ah, the joys of not having to type out the full sentence. Dsh: don't spray the house.  Now, I see it commonly but you gotta love the photo here: weeds growing in the crack of the concrete under
the window frame? Really? Exactly how much water are we placing on the frame? There are mold and termite remediation companies everywhere that owe their careers to these kind of practices. Oh yeah - and me. It's so easy to look like a genius when I go way out on a limb and predict this kind of stuff. 

How many errors in this picture?  I count, hmmm